• What are your intentions with my daughter? Are you just looking for a casual fling or do you see a future together where I’ll be forced to buy matching Christmas sweaters?
• How do you handle conflicts or disagreements in a relationship? Do you resort to passive-aggressive notes hidden under the fridge magnets, or can we expect some healthy communication skills and maybe even an occasional compromise?
• Can you tell me about your future plans and goals? I mean, besides becoming the world champion of video games. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… okay, maybe a little.
• Have you ever been in a serious relationship before? If yes, what did you learn from it? Did it teach you how to pick up socks off the floor without being asked fifteen times?
• Do you have any religious or cultural beliefs that may affect the relationship? Like if every Friday night is reserved for salsa dancing lessons because your great-grandfather was once crowned “King of Salsa”?
• Are there any deal-breakers for you when it comes to relationships? Because if one of them involves not sharing pizza toppings, we might need to reconsider this whole thing.
• How do you envision balancing personal life and career in the long run? Will our family gatherings always play second fiddle to late-night work emails?
• Can I trust you to prioritize my daughter’s happiness and well-being above all else? And by “all else,” I mean Netflix binges and those trendy man-buns.
• What is your communication style like when things get tough in a relationship? Should we brace ourselves for silent treatment marathons or will open dialogue prevail?
• How do you handle stress and pressure in your life? Is taking bubble baths while listening to Enya part of your secret coping strategy?
• Are you comfortable with open and honest communication within a relationship? Or should we invest in lie detector tests as standard household equipment?
• What are your thoughts on marriage and starting a family in the future? Are you more of a “let’s get hitched at an Elvis-themed chapel” or “white picket fence with 2.5 kids” kind of guy?
• Can you share any past experiences or lessons that have shaped your views on relationships? Did watching too many rom-coms make you believe grand gestures were mandatory, or did reality eventually slap some sense into you?
• How do you show appreciation and affection towards your partner? Should we expect surprise serenades under balconies or just heartfelt compliments during commercial breaks?
• Do you have any concerns or reservations about dating my daughter? If yes, what are they? Is it her uncanny ability to finish all the ice cream without leaving even a spoonful for anyone else?
• Are there any specific values or qualities that you believe are important for a successful relationship? Besides both partners having excellent taste in pizza toppings, obviously.
• How would you handle disagreements between yourself and my daughter’s family members if they were to arise? Would it involve duels at dawn with foam swords, or can we rely on civilized discussions over cups of tea instead?